He ate the sandwich in no time and the pizza slices were gone within a few seconds. He washed it all down with orange Slice soda. He burped loud enoug... so the neighbors could hear him."Ew! Excuse you!" I said.He rubbed his belly. He looked too satisfied. "That was good food." I wish I knew how you stayed so skinny."He eyed me quietly. "Sometimes I wish I would gain weight. I'm just a scrawny guy." You're not totally puny you know. I think you look ... alright."He smirked, "So do you. Don't tell. When the bear falls off the roof, the dog is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner."What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner."If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."This one is compliments of Chuck...A young law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.Student:. He was at least ten years older than me, but that didn't bother me in the least. The place was packed, with at least two dozen people spilled out onto the boardwalk just off the back entrance to the café itself.We stood hip to hip sipping a decent wine."Nice dress," he said. It was a safe gambit on his part, innocuous I thought, until he named the store in Manhattan where I'd purchased it.That put him in a slightly different category. Now he had my undivided attention."That's very perceptive of. My exuberance overtook me and I suddenly grabbed her and hoisted her over my shoulder. She let out a loud laugh."Oh, what's up?" She giggled as she spoke. I thought this a loaded question."It's your eyes." I answered, "They drive me wild."I carried her into the bedroom and put her down before me on the big bed. I looked in her eyes. They really were stunning. Her young face with it's perfect features was a feast for my eyes.I eased forward and embraced her luscious lips with mine. Her long.
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