"I see," I said, "What should I wear tonight?"Ibarra and Lilja smiled and Lilja said, "May we select something for our Lady?" Please," I said.Lara smi...ed and winked at me as the two entered the doorway of new closet. They emerged with a beautiful lavender gown, which was simple, but elegant. 'Damn! A dress!' I hadn't thought about the fact I'd be wearing dresses. I walked up and took a closer look. I realized it's not a dress, but it's not a pantsuit either. I also realized I wouldn't know how. I know full well that it’s wrong to think such things but I can't help feeling that way. In truth, I hate myself for it. We have agreed to be friends and I am trying my hardest not to break this verbal agreement but I cannot help wanting to push the boundaries either. For my own sick, self-satisfaction, I want to tell him how I still feel and to hear him say that he still loves me, too. Yet another selfish thing that shows how horrible I can actually be. But, Dear Diary, I promised you cheerful. I’m describing my emotional response, not my rational one.) Asim made me shake a few hands, but after some curious glances people caught on to my status as his servant and lost interest. In fact, one pushed an empty glass in my hand. I took it away, smiling. I’d much rather be a busboy here tonight than a guest.One of the other Europeans, or at least Westerners, came up to me as I stood a few metres behind Asim, smiling at nobody in particular while he worked the room like a Las Vegas table. The cat is the only one that jumps out at me. "What!" I yell at her. "Would you please answer what the hell you want from me!" I look around. I move to the living room and expect to see Amber on the sofa. She is not there. I move slowly to my bedroom. I notice the cat lurking up behind me acting as back up. I turn on the light to my bedroom and nothing. Amber is not tied on my bed either. Okay no note, no Amber tied. What is going on here? I think to myself. The phone starts to ring. My heart.
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