And regardless of the special connection I thought I felt with Anna, she was STILL working for the CIA.The conflict between telling the truth and prot...cting my family raged within me as I rode. Anna gave me the space, realizing that something was going on. I could sense her concern, though. I hated living a lie, but I didn't want anything bad to happen to Nicky or Catherine because I told the truth about my past."You mentioned my cousin's place?" I finally asked, breaking the silence."Yeah. The. This seemed like a good idea when I thought of it, but the reality is that I'm terrified. No matter what we've done before, I always worry that I won't live up to your expectations and I'd hate for you to be disappointed in me.For a moment we sit there staring at each other. I know that if I let this go on too long then I won't be able to do it all, nerves will get the better of me, and I can see you're getting impatient. Believe me when I say I've never done this before and please be gentle. One Thursday in October, I was called out of math class to the principal’s office.?Miss Chang,? Mr. Grady told me, ?your father’s been in a car accident. He’s alive, but he’s badly injured.?As tears streamed down my face, Mr. Grady explained what had happened. He had been T-boned by a drunk driver at an intersection. Even worse, Dad had been laid off last month, and they had no health insurance. And with the car a wreck, the only way we could pay the medical bills was if Dad sold me. I was his. I have always taken thenecessary steps to keep my libido in check. I find that a steadydiet of sex with Renee, prostitutes, and myself usually does thetrick.However, over the last several months, the intensity of the demandfor release has increased almost daily. It has gotten to the pointwhere I masturbate almost continuously. I only slow down for thepretense of trying to do my job as the director of a marketingcompany. I am a practical man though. I realize that my disease (asI thought of it.
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