Then it all changed.About a week later our neighbours threw a big party for their 15th anniversary. Lots of food, wine, beer, brandy etc. and dancing ...n the lawn. My mother was really enjoying herself at the party, and by mid evening her state in all fairness could only be described as: Drunk. She called for me to support her on her way back to our own house. The neighbour's wife asked me, if I could handle the situation - after all I was only 2 days from my 14th birthday - but I assured her,. What kept me alive during that year I have no idea. For the next 10 years I tried to build a new life. Two marriages that ended in divorce added to my depression. It really didn’t help that I’d lost my dad in 1997, two days before Christmas. I was far from merry that year. The only good thing during those 10 years was that I went back to school and got a BS degree in Computer Programming. In 2001 I got a wild idea and looked up Michelle’s parents phone number and called to see how everyone was. Your load spent, the situation is no longer as arousing as it seemed st the time.Suddenly you see yourself not as the sexily attractive woman you dressed up to be, but, as everyone else sees your - a man dressed up in women’s clothes, who has just been used as a sexual plaything by another man. You contrast this with the cognitive self-image you have created for yourself. You feel repulsed by what you have just done; by how you look. You see yourself as a sissy; a faggot!You run from the bar. " I do have nice things, I just don't wear them." I've seen them, but any excuse to head to the mall is fine with me." Well at least we know what parts of the real Buffy's personalitytransferred over to you." I think I was always like this." Both laughed for a few seconds."So how is your love life?" Well Agent M asked me out. He's nice, but I do look young enough to behis daughter." Yeah, this whole age thing is a little weird. At least we can pull offbeing 18, but we won't be able to get in.
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