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You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything...that connects us as husband & wife.Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.Your EX-Wife.Don’t try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to New Zealand together! Have a great life!REPLY:Dear Ex-wife, Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.It’s true you & I have been married for 20. (I hated and dreaded Valentine's Day. I thought it was a bullshit commercialized holiday that enabled greeting card companies, florists, and chocolatiers to get rich, as anyone without a significant other was made to feel inferior to the rest of society. Besides, if you loved someone, you should show them that you did every day, not just one day of the year.) Em knew my feelings on the holiday and saw the overwhelming joy that was written all over my face at the mention of it."Oh c'mon, if. "I don't want to disturb your household..." I finally managed to say. I figured that her husband was home and while I wasn't afraid of him I did have some concerns about that elixir that my crazy Uncle Ed concocted for with my luck my penis would come to immediate attention right in front of Mary."No, no that's ok I need the break." Mary stood aside allowing me to enter her home. "My husband is out with some of his pals doing who knows what." She turned and led the way to the kitchen."You have. " Okay," Dana said, taking my hand.We drove down the street and valeted the car. We walked, her handsclutching my arm, to the desk. I asked for a room and was paying."Is...is that you? Dana? Dana Thompson?" It's Dana! Dana, can I have your autograph?"We stood in the lobby, dying to be alone, and she signed autographs. Iwas just the extra chick in the room.I suddenly felt embarrassed. All of these people suspected, I realized.They knew I was going to go to bed with another person who had a.
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