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"Very nice mate" said the barman as in my total confusion, I held out mum's fragrantly damp g-string to him,"But the gaffer would rather have two poun...s, twenty pence in the till if you don't mind!"If you've ever seen a traditional, red London double decker bus, you'll have seen the shade of red that mum's face turned into as I stuffed the panties back in my pocket and paid him with the other hand, as I'd intended to in the first place."I'll have 'em mate" laughed a voice beside me and someone. ‘You’re perfect, don’t forget it.’ I whispered. ‘You’re a silly boy. I’m okay – I’ll live.’ ‘But, still. To me you’re perfect. Ignore anyone who would dare think otherwise. You’ve more beauty and brains than any of those trophy wives.’ The night before she had been fractious, tense in the cab on the way home from a dinner the agency had thrown for our biggest clients. The perfumed, plastic-surgeried wife of one of our biggest advertisers had casually mentioned that she should put her mind to. ??Aaah?.??I said, shut up!??Gnnnnn..??Now, let’s carefully place two water balloons on your face.??Two? Are you trying to kill me???Let’s say so. Now, be completely still while I step on your face with my shoes and crush those water balloons on your loser face.??Whatever??(Pop! Splash!)(Pop! Splash!)?Loser! Loser! Haha! I feel so good dancing on your loser face.??Mmmmph..??But now, look at my shoes. They’re all wet and it’s all your fault.??I’m sorry.??Sorry is just not going to cut it. I’m. If you're underage, stop reading (and how didyou get a hold of this in the first place), if you're offended bytransgender or transsexual ideas, stop reading, and if you're unlikelyto enjoy erotic descriptions of sex, stop reading.Permission granted to re-post on any free site with attribution.You really ought to read "Changes In Paradise, parts 1 - 7," if youhaven't already. Those narrative threads must be held in memory or manyparts of what follows will not make sense.Thanks for the comments,.
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